My first true love
I feel like cursing and bursting out words to describe how this situation has
killed my heart.
I feel like nothing compares to the life I had before.
I met you with good intentions, and great respect.
I never expected you to be the cause of my death.
You left me in ruins.
You're leaving to another life.
You fucking heartless bitch.
You're lucky you're far enough that I can’t reach you tonight.
The kisses and hugs and the late night talks have taken their course.
So, I guess you got bored.
The promises of us and future plans has erased from your mind
for you don’t
even know what you could have had.
I did the impossible just to see you laugh, and feel joy.
Why the fuck did you leave me?
Oh yeah, you must have found another boy.
Fine! Fuck him well and fuck him good.
I hope you really enjoy your life with him,
but it will never be as good like
we had it when we were together.
I’m your first love.
The one who showed you how to make love.
The first to touch you and kiss your whole body.
The one who loved you more than anybody.
Those intimate nights we shared wore you out.
Now, you are looking for new meat.
You think you're going to find true love on college campus grounds?
You think that someone like me could ever be found?
You hurt me so bad I can’t take this abuse no more.
I created a monster, for I taught you about relationships.
I guess I was your detour until you finally said “I don’t want you no more”.
You left me with nothing.
After I gave you the world.
I made things happen for you.
I was even thinking about being the father to your kids.
Now, I don’t give fuck.
How can you do this to me?
Tell me over the phone you don’t want me anymore.
I even took you to the place where you decided we should end.
If I would have known that it was going to end this way,
I would have taken my life somewhere else where it’s much more appreciated.
I guess now you have emancipated yourself from me.
It’s not like I kept you under a lock and key.
I was conservative to you.
I treated you the way a girl should be treated.
I warned you about things.
Things that could damage us.
The things that would end up splitting us.
Everything I warned you about,
you decided to go ahead and experience it for
yourself.
Not all experiences are good.
But in time you will wish you have never left me.
I cried for this incident, but I will not die.
I will stay strong, and keep going.
I won’t lie that at given times all of this still hurts me inside.
What can I do?
I tried to open your eyes that what we had was a great life.
Go ahead, and be with who you want to be with.
You're young and ruthless.
As for me, I have experienced this before,
so I don’t have to put up with this
bullshit.
My mistake for getting with a young girl who still hasn’t experience enough
to
know what she wants.
I just hope it’s not too late when you do realize
I was the one all this time.
That you really loved.
My heart was broken by my first love....
Copyright © 2005
Felix Lugo
All Rights Reserved